I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
