If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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