I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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