I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
