you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
