i wish my penis had a tongue
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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