Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
