Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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