had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
