I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
