Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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