Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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