There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
