with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize