i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
