How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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