I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
