ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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