Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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