People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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