Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We left the knife in your bed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm really busy with my period
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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