you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
