I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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