mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
