dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
