Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
