He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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