Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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