I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
