I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize