My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
