i don't like sucking hair
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
