Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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