Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have demons in me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
