Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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