i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
