Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
