he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
