I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
