do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
