Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
