Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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