your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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