I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize