She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
