ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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