Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
