watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
