i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
