I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
