well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
