Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize