some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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