Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
