Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
