Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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