Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
