My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
