Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
