apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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