I cockslap morals
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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