This girl is more easily done than said...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
